Monday, 8 December 2014

Fibromyalgia .................

I am not sure whether I have ever typed a specific blog post about my Fibromyalgia (I nearly missed out the 'my' part, but then remembered that Fibro is different for everyone).  Fibro Fog (one of my many symptoms, and which seems to be getting worse) is very 'foggy' this morning and I haven't got the energy either to do a few clicks and look at my list of blog posts.

Why now?

In my strange and ever-changing life I generally just find myself doing something.  They say that there is a reason for everything, but I have learnt to stop searching for reasons.

In fact trying to find a reason for pain is like trying to find a snowflake in a blizzard.  (I was going to do a lovely piece of digital artwork with these words - but it is definitely too early in the morning.  I may well include something one day not too far away, I hope!)

Am I having a flare because of travel, because of having visitors in the house, or because of a trip to the supermarket ..... ?  No one can answer those questions, except for the truth I now know - Pain has no reason.

Fibromyalgia is a nightmare I cannot wake up from.  I am sitting at my desk early on a cold and dark morning, attempting to read the very interesting blogs on my screen.  My sight varies a lot and early mornings do not help.  It is a struggle to focus, the words are blurred and fatigue makes my eyes water.  The answer right now should be to go back to bed and sleep more, but the pain in my lower back that forced me out of bed at around 5 am will certainly return as soon as I lie down.  I have given up on the reading (there are always a few websites open waiting for me to return soon) and this blog post popped into my head.

I should be wrapping Xmas presents or making the final card on my list (for my wonderful husband).  Both of those activities will have to wait.  They will wait until my pain lessens and my brain allows me to consider doing something that is not vital (I struggle to keep myself, hubby, animals and household cared for - so 'fun' stuff like crafting, wrapping gifts and clearing the leaves from the garden have to wait until the clouds of Fibromyalgia lift and let some sunshine through).

I cannot offer a blog post that includes links to research, useful coping skills or indeed anything of much use, except that I can offer support and understanding. 

YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SITS IN FRONT OF THEIR COMPUTER FAR TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING.

Gentle hugs, Ali x